Wednesday, September 29, 2010


My brother Scott sent me the following piece that he wrote. Very funny and, unfortunately, true. Enjoy. 

Pledge to America!   (Lemon scented )

Shine, restore, and refresh your Country.
Pledge® Natural Beauty is ideal for quickly cleaning your wood furniture and clearing your mind of any factual data. Its Anti-Dust™ formula keeps America looking less sooty, longer. It removes dust, dirt, smudges, and all Gays, minorities, or non-Judeo/Christians in a flash. Plus, it protects against Health reform, water damage and stains. Dusting with Pledge® leaves America squeaky clean with no waxy buildup.
A Wonder for Wood Furniture—and a Variety of Other Surfaces in Your Traditional Values Home!
Great for increasingly popular vague themes like…………

We pledge to advance policies that promote greater liberty, wider opportunity, a robust defense, and national economic prosperity.
We pledge to honor families, traditional marriage, life, and the private and faith-based organizations that form the core of our American values.
We pledge to make government more transparent in its actions, careful in its stewardship, and honest in its dealings.  Plus, Pledge works on …..
  • People who don’t know any better.
  • People who listen to Fixed News 
  • People who are Mega Wealthy (giving them a tax break will help us all because it will trickle down to us wage slaves… honest.)
  • People who are CEO’s of Health Insurance companies. (If we repeal this awful ObamaCare that gives actual care to those who need it most and just stop those frivolous lawsuits (Tort Reform) then all the Doctors, Hospitals, And Health Insurance companies will lower their prices or premiums and America will be a Great and Prosperous Land once again… honest.   
Don't take chances with your best investments… Try Pledge. If you are not satisfied in two years, we will reinvent the same Pledge with different wording.   

Directions for use:
  1. Press key issues lightly on electorate, gradually increasing pressure as you go. Start with larger Faith Based groups first.
  2. Listen to people who agree with you. They are always right.
  3. Motivate potential voters thru FEAR.
  4. Take Special care of those large Corporations and Lobbyists that got you elected last time (they don’t want money… only Love)
  5. If rehashed ideas look cloudy or smeary, lie or blame President.
Remember our motto: If it smells like a lemon it's our...  PLEDGE TO AMERICA!                            
I found all the information listed above on the website WWW.GOP. gov
It is all listed under the heading "The 2010 Republican Agenda "
I copied it word for word and didn't make anything up..... Honest
If only this Pledge could remove Tea stains....

No comments: